if my life
got any fucking weirder, it would cease to exist in reality.
so this headcold just won't die. it's holding on for dear life, much like government mandated fun at the asylum. today was the floor pot luck 'celebration' salmonellafest2006. i have yet to go to one, as i question the cleanliness of, well, all my coworkers and their kitchens. so i duck out and go to the gym, as i'm wont to do, at, dontchaknow, exactly that time. was going to feign an interest and a drive-by to be noticed, but, really, what's the point. all day long, fa la la, was the floor trivia contest. eight geeks get together months in advance and come up with the moooost obscure questions about claymation specials, movies of yesteryear, christmas / chanukah / kwanzaa / winter solstice (YES) celebrations in random countries around the world, etc., it would be fun if it weren't so absurd, nor government mandated fun. 'clark griswold was employed doing what in what city in america in christmas vacation?' ok, easy one, but shit like that. so with the contest questions, every fifteen minutes, people are scrambling to wikipedia, google, and yelling out answers, if they already won a prize, so someone in his or her 'group' could also win. it was pandemonium. every fifteen minutes, complete pandemonium. so, i've got said headcold, and i really hate the too-cheery-for-her-own-good (and NO maryjanes do NOT go with everything, and if you won't remove the mole at least shave it) chick, and the salmonellafest2006, well, i laid low today. leaving, i got in the elevator with bossman who called me on my bah humbugdom. 'didn't see you at the party...' 'not feeling well, didn't bring a dish and didn't think it was right to scam food at the [orgy] buffet.' 'you could have gotten some soda or given money to [the useless floor admin] for the bbq they catered in.' (because they needed more food. and bbFUCKINGq at that.) 'i heard she wasn't taking money today so i thought i'd just lay low. that and this rancid headcold, well, didn't want to infect people.' (please. my wettest dream. 'ACHOO bitch. merry christmas.') 'you didn't win a prize in the trivia? you're a bright guy.' (i knew that nasty cunt put read receipts on her emailed questions, precisely why i deleted all but one, and that one i happened to wikipedia and didn't make in time. whoops. i tried...) 'this singer of 'blowin' in the wind celebrated chanukah. but what was his real name?' OH DEAR GOD. EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED, that's his fucking name. (and i smoked the most primo shit i've ever smoked IN MY LIFE EVER at a party on saturday. wow. but i digress.)
anyway. government mandated fun can bite me.
i've sworn my life to the second part of today, so on or about the first of the year (like i won't be hungover), i'll tell you part two of my 'you can't make this shit up' story of today. it involves my random lesbian neighbor and my employer. my two worlds collide? yep.
--
random, and this has been on my mind... if you knew me from when this blog was before being a blog, drop me a line, eh? i'll 'splain later... igloo, catwoman, hottiefrenchcanadien, no bother.
so this headcold just won't die. it's holding on for dear life, much like government mandated fun at the asylum. today was the floor pot luck 'celebration' salmonellafest2006. i have yet to go to one, as i question the cleanliness of, well, all my coworkers and their kitchens. so i duck out and go to the gym, as i'm wont to do, at, dontchaknow, exactly that time. was going to feign an interest and a drive-by to be noticed, but, really, what's the point. all day long, fa la la, was the floor trivia contest. eight geeks get together months in advance and come up with the moooost obscure questions about claymation specials, movies of yesteryear, christmas / chanukah / kwanzaa / winter solstice (YES) celebrations in random countries around the world, etc., it would be fun if it weren't so absurd, nor government mandated fun. 'clark griswold was employed doing what in what city in america in christmas vacation?' ok, easy one, but shit like that. so with the contest questions, every fifteen minutes, people are scrambling to wikipedia, google, and yelling out answers, if they already won a prize, so someone in his or her 'group' could also win. it was pandemonium. every fifteen minutes, complete pandemonium. so, i've got said headcold, and i really hate the too-cheery-for-her-own-good (and NO maryjanes do NOT go with everything, and if you won't remove the mole at least shave it) chick, and the salmonellafest2006, well, i laid low today. leaving, i got in the elevator with bossman who called me on my bah humbugdom. 'didn't see you at the party...' 'not feeling well, didn't bring a dish and didn't think it was right to scam food at the [orgy] buffet.' 'you could have gotten some soda or given money to [the useless floor admin] for the bbq they catered in.' (because they needed more food. and bbFUCKINGq at that.) 'i heard she wasn't taking money today so i thought i'd just lay low. that and this rancid headcold, well, didn't want to infect people.' (please. my wettest dream. 'ACHOO bitch. merry christmas.') 'you didn't win a prize in the trivia? you're a bright guy.' (i knew that nasty cunt put read receipts on her emailed questions, precisely why i deleted all but one, and that one i happened to wikipedia and didn't make in time. whoops. i tried...) 'this singer of 'blowin' in the wind celebrated chanukah. but what was his real name?' OH DEAR GOD. EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED, that's his fucking name. (and i smoked the most primo shit i've ever smoked IN MY LIFE EVER at a party on saturday. wow. but i digress.)
anyway. government mandated fun can bite me.
i've sworn my life to the second part of today, so on or about the first of the year (like i won't be hungover), i'll tell you part two of my 'you can't make this shit up' story of today. it involves my random lesbian neighbor and my employer. my two worlds collide? yep.
--
random, and this has been on my mind... if you knew me from when this blog was before being a blog, drop me a line, eh? i'll 'splain later... igloo, catwoman, hottiefrenchcanadien, no bother.
posted by tom at 10:31 PM
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