confessions from a madman
so far this week:
everybody in the world was off on monday. everybody but me. lladro, the spanish trinket store? closed. cafe europa? closed. smythson of bond street? closed. i'm sure shanghai tang was too, but i'm not sure. my company? open for business. grrrrreat. catch the irony? but i did get a seat on the subway.
found out today that former ladyboss wants to do our preliminary reviews on friday with new ladyboss. it's not just sitting in her office as she fumbles through a thirty-page document averting eye contact (shout out to the igloo dweller... you hit that nail on the head...), it's me writing the thirty-page document. ok, not really. it's only about eighteen, and it's a template that gets filled in with yet more corporate mumbo jumbo bullshit. 'core competencies. strengths. weaknesses. areas improved this year. areas to be improved next year.' i don't take, 'we'll meet on this day and this time' well, so i made the ladybosses past and present meet me at a time more convenient for me: tomorrow. (i'll let you know how it goes, lol.) maaaaaaay sneak in a rainy day, rare and antique valium for good measure.
as i've said over and over again, i don't work for mensa, so in the template i used mono-syllabic words, i did not use a thesaurus, and i took the document (looked upon by my coworkers with the same anticipation as a doctor's visit by a small child) and summarized my worth in about 45 minutes. and not well at that. (really, truth be told, my worth to the company should have taken ten, but that's just semantics.) as our raises and ratings are already done, and this merely an exercise in big-word-usage by the clueless at my company, i'm playing the game... 'i'm looking forward to bringing more of my strengths to the table and partnering with my coworkers to bring the department to the point where we're looked upon as a beacon of guidance to both our internal and external customers.' right. on it. yeah.
i bought a new mug today. it's pimento-green and is shaped rather like an olive with a handle. it makes me giggle whenever i look at his / her squatty goodness. and i am soliciting names for squattymug.
wait. i think that's it.
everybody in the world was off on monday. everybody but me. lladro, the spanish trinket store? closed. cafe europa? closed. smythson of bond street? closed. i'm sure shanghai tang was too, but i'm not sure. my company? open for business. grrrrreat. catch the irony? but i did get a seat on the subway.
found out today that former ladyboss wants to do our preliminary reviews on friday with new ladyboss. it's not just sitting in her office as she fumbles through a thirty-page document averting eye contact (shout out to the igloo dweller... you hit that nail on the head...), it's me writing the thirty-page document. ok, not really. it's only about eighteen, and it's a template that gets filled in with yet more corporate mumbo jumbo bullshit. 'core competencies. strengths. weaknesses. areas improved this year. areas to be improved next year.' i don't take, 'we'll meet on this day and this time' well, so i made the ladybosses past and present meet me at a time more convenient for me: tomorrow. (i'll let you know how it goes, lol.) maaaaaaay sneak in a rainy day, rare and antique valium for good measure.
as i've said over and over again, i don't work for mensa, so in the template i used mono-syllabic words, i did not use a thesaurus, and i took the document (looked upon by my coworkers with the same anticipation as a doctor's visit by a small child) and summarized my worth in about 45 minutes. and not well at that. (really, truth be told, my worth to the company should have taken ten, but that's just semantics.) as our raises and ratings are already done, and this merely an exercise in big-word-usage by the clueless at my company, i'm playing the game... 'i'm looking forward to bringing more of my strengths to the table and partnering with my coworkers to bring the department to the point where we're looked upon as a beacon of guidance to both our internal and external customers.' right. on it. yeah.
i bought a new mug today. it's pimento-green and is shaped rather like an olive with a handle. it makes me giggle whenever i look at his / her squatty goodness. and i am soliciting names for squattymug.
wait. i think that's it.
posted by tom at 10:06 PM
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