going where the climate suits my clothes

lovely birthday weekend with the mancat, special thanks to him for good times, good muppets, and good food. yesterday, we got our passports stamped in balmy and exotic new jersey visiting mancat's frat brother, his wife, and their new little woobkin. now, as much as i mock my little island of long, for all of her faults (iroc z's, women named debra, dawn, linda, and maria, more strip malls than people, etc.), at least it's not new jersey. the part of jersey we hit must have been a major commercial zone: every last chain store one could possibly have wanted to see in one town was within walking distance of each other. i've never seen quite so many tanning salons in such a condensed area, all having rather disturbing names as, 'sizzles,' 'savage tans,' and, 'midnight sun' all promising (or, really, threatening) 'high pressure bulbs,' 'the strongest bulbs allowed in america,' and, 'special tanning technology in the only place outside of germany.' does this send shivers up anyone else's pale skin? eek.

but i digress.

so we pick up the fratwife and woobkin, both equally beautiful, and debate macaroni grill or the local indian restaurant (indie indie, if you will). wound up at the indian place and had a pretty damned good dinner. fratbro is from india, and the frat family recently moved there, having returned to the fifty nifty this month visiting all who they left behind. our service and food were, as it was explained, a *tad* more authentic and proper because of his provenance. i suppose that means (or explains?) the animated exchange between fratbro, the owner, and the emergency exit which was closer to fratbro's car than the main entrance.

taking today to visit mum and the doggies who, as it was explained to me yesterday, are on an exponential decline. the boy dog had another seizure yesterday, and after blood tests it was determined he's got terribly high cholesterol and liver disease. in addition to being anxious. my fuzzy friend has become quite the pill popper as of late. the girl dog: falling further into senility and blindness, walking into walls and just standing in the middle of the back yard starting blankly. so, heading out to say hello before i have to say goodbye and sneak them doggie treats whilst marge is in the other room.

mum did promise a birthday dinner, however, but as i'm a cheap date, do i opt for the 'good' diner in the next town, taco bell, or yet more indian? (not all diners are created equally, i wouldn't touch a taco bell in the city- it's just different out here, and i could have indian for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.) i'll be sure to advise, i know you're all waiting with baited breath :-)

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it's like 20 degrees here, and the wind chill isn't helping. noooooo snow, but we DID head to an indian buffet. get there to a king's greeting of, 'sir it is wonderful to see you again sir i do hope you find our buffet as pleasurable as you once did sir!' and mum's chair was both pulled back and dusted off. after some screams in hindi, a brand new plate was brought out from the kitchen by the manager, still warm and slightly moist, and placed down in front of marge after it was wiped off and the waiters were dismissed. very bizarre. like the other patrons, i took my plate from the pile and proceeded to strap the ol' feed bag on. nysc will see me repent for my sins tomorrow... after this buffet and last night, i've got to have done damage...

i get there and proceed to take both layers off. look up and some guy gives me a smile. i look away. i get up to head to the buffet, and he gives me a wave. i look away. decided i should sterilize myself from the funk and nastiness of the l.i.r.r. (venerate her name) and he follows me:

[my name.]

'yes. forgive me, i don't recall you.'

'[twat from elementary and high schools, my brother's year, not mine.]'

'oh my. well. good to see you. [inflection soooo saying otherwise.]'

'i saw you and thought it was you, then saw your mother and knew it was you.'

'glad you said something, i never would have recognized you.'

'yes, well, i've opened my practice here and i came here with my wife and some of our friends for a party. we live in [*yawn* town] now.'

'wow, hey, that's great. how's your brother?'

'yes, my optometrist practice is picking up nicely. my brother is great, thanks. he's finishing his master's at [for 19.99, you TOO can get your master's- college].'

'optometrist, no shit. wow. how can you touch eyes. i think i'd pass out when the scalpel hits the thing, or laser or whatever it is you use.'

'they're ophthalmologists.'

'oh, right right right, sorry. wow, his master's, that's super.'

'what's your brother doing?'

'oh, he's mister self-employed real estate guy. i wish we had the same boss, [har har har, nudge and wink.] so, you're still out here?' i didn't realize how awful that sounded, but it just slipped out.

'wow, that's great. yeah, i am still here. you are here, too?'

'god no. i live in the city.'

'where?'

'west village. same block as the olsens [har har har], but not their building, believe you me.'

'wow. we should keep in touch. i should go, my wife is throwing me looks.'

'hey, thanks for recognizing me.'

'do you have a card on you? here is mine.'

'augh, no, actually, i don't. i never mix business and pleasure.'

'well, if you need your eyes checked, here is where i am.'

'that's great. i see a fantastic eye surgeon in the city. dr. humpy guido

'don't know him.'

'i'll bet. good to see you again.'

right. good to see you again.




and as i mentioned, the dogs aren't well at all. he can barely move, and she is this clueless mass of canine. both so cute and wonderful, and i insisted marge get lots of pictures of us together. while i hope this isn't the end, i know better. cheers to good thoughts and a quick exit for both them and us.