you'd think my ga-zillion dollar employer...

...would have SOMEONE there who wouldn't fuck up as badly as the moron who runs our nurse's office.

[my word, i've only posted HOW MANY times in the last month? sorry, guys. i suck. i'll do better, before next year's review, i promise!]

so i get a group email from v. p. auntie mame with the subject, 'blood drive.' every queen knows to stay away from such things, as homo blood is not widely received. hell, it's not taken, at all. 'and employees who donate will receive a 10% coupon to [store in close proximity.]' so i give auntie mame the business when i email back, 'i can't give blood, is there another way to earn my 10% coupon?' 'oh darling, there are MANY ways to earn yours.......' she's so cool, always good for a laugh, but still, i was serious, so i email the dumbass at our 'health and safety' office the same query: 'i am not able to give blood. is there another way i may be able to earn a 10% coupon?' 'oh sorry, tom, only those who successfully donate will get the coupon.'

nurse hatchet is, oh, about 100 years old. she and i have worked together for the nine excrutiatingly long years with which i've been at big brother. we've even served on a committee together, and still to this day (well, last as of last fall at the american red cross' 'together we prepare!' seminar,) STILL introduces herself to me.

now i am most certainly not a big old ACT-UP! fag activist (remember them?), but i won't take this sitting down. i email a few like-minded brethern at work who were no help.... 'are you crazy!' 'you have no reason to worry about donating blood... do you?' 'just let it go.' NO. I WON'T LET IT GO.

one of the questions on the donor intake sheet explicitly asks something to the effect of, and i'm not quoting, 'are you a male who has had sex with a male since 1977?' YES. I AM. AND YOU NEED MY BLOOD AND I WANT A 10% COUPON.

so. i decided to let granny work for her cardiac.

'you do understand that this could be considered discrimination toward homosexuals. and those who have visited certain countries, gotten new tattoos, and have certain medical conditions.' i put a read-receipt on the email and noticed granny opened it immediately. no response, of course.

i go into auntie mame's office and figure i'd alert the 'homo discrimination' email to her before it comes to her via legal or human resouces. 'SHE SAID WHAT?' '.....succcessful donors.....' 'SHE'S A MORON. darling, she probably had a heart attack on the spot, i wish i were there to see her reaction. they'll give you a 50% coupon to keep you quiet.' 'let's hope so. mother's day IS coming up, you know.' 'you must keep me posted.'

and i'll keep you posted. believe me, dear readers (who haven't jetted for other more updated blogs...), i'll keep you posted.