what do tom and the reagan years have in common?

recession.

augh. ok, my genes are pissing me off lately.

my mother's german side of the family is huge, no one under 6'0. even my mother is tall for a chick.
my father's sicilian side of the family is decently large as well. homer was 6'1, so is my brother.

i'm 5'9.

both grandfathers died with a full head of hair, albeit gray. homer had his signature red hair until the end.

good teeth run in the family as well.

SO WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?

both my gums and hairline are receding. ok ok, my gums barely, and just on one tooth (that my dentist has been watching for years, in the back of my mouth. but still.)

but what set me off was when i was growing my hair out in the winter and i noticed my hairline was receding. not a lot, but noticeably. then at my last haircut, when georgethewonderbarber fixed what the asshole did to me only one week before at another place, nicely pointed it out, 'your hair to go back, you're to getting older, amigo.'

i'm to getting older amigo? what? WHAT?

and in typical lunatic style, i call marge at, oh, 8am on saturday. 'your genes. YOUR GENES are causing me to go bald!' 'oh, now, calm down. remember i found you on the doorstep and the stork just flew away. the stork must have had deficient genes, that must be why he left you.' 'THAT'S NOT FUNNY. IT'S YOUR 'GERMAN' GENES. GERMAN THIS. GERMANS DON'T GO BALD AND STAND IN WHERE I DO!' 'honey, you're, what, 5'10"?' 'IN DRAG, IN HEELS, YES, 5'10", BUT NOT NORMALLY! 5'9" AND BALDING!' 'oh honey, that must be your father's side, there were plenty of little, bald people on his side, take your uncle gerard. see, you're not different.'