i'm jim jupiter! the healthiest man in chicago! (err, west village)
karma, you nasty, nasty shrew.
ok, so that one time in chelsea, when made to wait at the bar far too long by the far too pretty bartendress, i may, or may not, have tipped her for my $45 cosmo.
and that time i called bangalore to demand a refund for my modem that is under warranty, and i had to repeat my name and other info about nineteen times? yeah, may, just MAY, have copped an attitude.
oh and the time i totally promised my coworker a birthday gift, a nasty shrew herself, and never. quite. got. around. to. it. yeah, there was that time.
but honestly, karma, my triglycerides are WHAT? i don't even eat meat! i am a runner! how can that be? for the normal adult, they should be UNDER 150. big daddy here..........? try 471. yes. 471. something is seriously the matter. the PA who read me my results today isn't the brightest bulb, i am thinking (HOPING) she's dyslexic, but who knows...
but the kicker on today, because not one but three doctors needed to be involved, is the, hmm, how you say politely... well i think there is a problem 'down there.' i'll spare you the gory details, for both our sakes, but my 'primary care physician' seems to be of the mind that i've got kidney stones. grrrrrreat. (karma, you're SO going down.) going to a thingy-doctor (lovely) tomorrow who will slather goo on my back and take tests (isn't that for what mancat exists?) and see if there are gem-rocks in my kidneys. fabu! two-hour lunch (again)? check.
i'm jim jupiter! the healthiest man in chicago! what is going on with me, eh? details to follow, stay tuned, kids. this could be the tod bump project for this year, or nothing at all...
ok, so that one time in chelsea, when made to wait at the bar far too long by the far too pretty bartendress, i may, or may not, have tipped her for my $45 cosmo.
and that time i called bangalore to demand a refund for my modem that is under warranty, and i had to repeat my name and other info about nineteen times? yeah, may, just MAY, have copped an attitude.
oh and the time i totally promised my coworker a birthday gift, a nasty shrew herself, and never. quite. got. around. to. it. yeah, there was that time.
but honestly, karma, my triglycerides are WHAT? i don't even eat meat! i am a runner! how can that be? for the normal adult, they should be UNDER 150. big daddy here..........? try 471. yes. 471. something is seriously the matter. the PA who read me my results today isn't the brightest bulb, i am thinking (HOPING) she's dyslexic, but who knows...
but the kicker on today, because not one but three doctors needed to be involved, is the, hmm, how you say politely... well i think there is a problem 'down there.' i'll spare you the gory details, for both our sakes, but my 'primary care physician' seems to be of the mind that i've got kidney stones. grrrrrreat. (karma, you're SO going down.) going to a thingy-doctor (lovely) tomorrow who will slather goo on my back and take tests (isn't that for what mancat exists?) and see if there are gem-rocks in my kidneys. fabu! two-hour lunch (again)? check.
i'm jim jupiter! the healthiest man in chicago! what is going on with me, eh? details to follow, stay tuned, kids. this could be the tod bump project for this year, or nothing at all...
posted by tom at 11:13 PM
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