as much as i bitch about the catholic church...

...eighteen years of schooling by angry nuns and priests has at least given me a decent education:

[phone rings. see it's cube-farm director on batphone. stomach sinks: i'm too low on the cube-farm-pole with whom to be dealt directly by her excellency. unless i've fucked up something, then i'm free game. i put a read receipt on every goddam email i send, so i know that she just opened one when she called.]

'hey there.'
'do you not have spell check enabled?'
'sorry?'
'there is a typo on your email.'
(not to be cocky, but surely she's wrong. still, i panic.)
'oh no! how can that be? i don't have it enabled- it pisses me off- but i do run a check before i send an important email. where is it?'
'second bullet...'
(i read it out-loud like a child being berated in the third grade. i started getting hot thinking i made a parapraxy in writing a word that with only one different letter could be dirty or clean. this email went to sacred vps.)
'...consonant.... i don't see where.'
'don't you mean constant or consistent?'
'no. i mean consonant. as in harmonious or in harmony with.'
'oh. sorry.'

and she pulls in well, well over 6 figures. and i very much do not.