nope, still no crabs

epiphanies of this weekend:

1. lilypads do exist in real live. i'm told frogs go on them, but nothing like disney movies. despite, lilypads aren't like unicorns and atlantis.

2. the good shit doesn't give you a hangover. i know, took me this long to find out.

3. drunk + boating = after school special, despite being in a lake the size of my apartment in which you could stand up and walk out if you needed to. ok, not necessarily, but you get the hyperbole of this bullet point.

4. no, i don't know how i got that bruise or why my left eyelid is sun burned.

5. small town + a brady bunch station wagon full of rowdy faggots = don't make eye contact with the locals.