you win some, you lose some...

one of my former coworkers moved to a land far, far away about two years ago. she and i banter fairly often about the inanity of big brother and all the propaganda they give us-- she can fully relate-- so in a fit of 'i don't need the consistent reminders about how i sold out taking up valuable space in my desk' (not like i'd put the crapola out ON my desk like a good little prole, mind you), i decided to package all the things we're supposed to have pinned up (mission statement on a plastic tent-card, for example: essentially canned common sense written using a watered-down corporate overtone) and overnighted it her to the land of burly, rugged men. i can hear it now... bigbossman: 'where is the YES! campaign brochure the company just allocated to each person? it is an important element of how we're choosing to do business going forward for both internal and external clients.' 'well, sir, since [that area] is a two-day zone, it's entirely possible it's somewhere over, well, who the hell knows, actually.'

one for me.

come home and halleluia, ups left a 'sorry we missed you!' sticky on my door (you're not sorry at all) noting my package from earthlink. i call them and have to navigate around some snotty automated service that gave me flack when i asked for an agent, but finally transferred me. ('no problem.' no, automated thingy, it is NOT a problem: it's your fucking job! and congratulations on getting me to the point where i am referring to you as if you were a person!) but, eventually, after my 11 minute wait time, i get some sweet southern belle who, when i told her i'd sooner pick up the package at the facility (up the street from my flophouse) noted that, 'that request would have had to have gone in before 7. it's 703.' PLEASE! PLEASE TRY! 'i'm sorry, but if i try, i get an error message kicked back to me and my supervisor does, too. then i get yelled at. he made me cry once.' 'oh dear. my dsl isn't nearly that important. thank you anyway. tomorrow will be fine.' 'i live in an area where dsl isn't an option. cable either. i have a satellite dish and when it rains, i get nothing. nothing at all.' 'um. ok. tomorrow sounds great. i have to go now.'

one for them.