BIG BROTHER is watching
so i get a questionnaire from the census bureau about, um, two months ago. i don't bother to return it.
you see, here's the thing: i'm not a government conspiracy theorist, not even a little teeny weeny tad bit-ist, but when i looked over the survey and it said it wanted to know when i left for work, how long it took me to get there, where i worked, their address, and how much i made... hmm... made me kind of wonder... so i tore it up and never thought twice about it. until the second mailing arrived. ('second verse, same as the first!')
then the phone calls came... last week (beloved labor day) so i ignored it. then again this weekend: 'please call us back before we have to call local authorities.' (oh please.) but i called anyway, thinking it's best to save face in the air of george w., god knows he's a fucking incompetent lunatic, and you know what THOSE people are capable of doing... [and i'm a registered conservative...]
'oh, there must be some misunderstanding. i sent it in last week. i see exactly how important it is for the u. s. government to know where the need is for hospitals, schools, and grocers. you have such! an! important! job!'
'well, i'll be sure to note that in your case file,[ winston,] and if your response is not received in the next seven to ten business days, a representative from the united states of america census bureau may well contact you. and may i confirm that that the number you're calling me from is the number of the building where you reside in?' (sweetness, here is how you speak english outside of knoxville: 'and may i confirm that the number from where you're calling me is the number associated to the building in which you reside?') and NO, that's not correct... sorry smartness... why i have a cel...
please, dear and loyal readers, be sure to buy a bail bond, won't you?
you see, here's the thing: i'm not a government conspiracy theorist, not even a little teeny weeny tad bit-ist, but when i looked over the survey and it said it wanted to know when i left for work, how long it took me to get there, where i worked, their address, and how much i made... hmm... made me kind of wonder... so i tore it up and never thought twice about it. until the second mailing arrived. ('second verse, same as the first!')
then the phone calls came... last week (beloved labor day) so i ignored it. then again this weekend: 'please call us back before we have to call local authorities.' (oh please.) but i called anyway, thinking it's best to save face in the air of george w., god knows he's a fucking incompetent lunatic, and you know what THOSE people are capable of doing... [and i'm a registered conservative...]
'oh, there must be some misunderstanding. i sent it in last week. i see exactly how important it is for the u. s. government to know where the need is for hospitals, schools, and grocers. you have such! an! important! job!'
'well, i'll be sure to note that in your case file,[ winston,] and if your response is not received in the next seven to ten business days, a representative from the united states of america census bureau may well contact you. and may i confirm that that the number you're calling me from is the number of the building where you reside in?' (sweetness, here is how you speak english outside of knoxville: 'and may i confirm that the number from where you're calling me is the number associated to the building in which you reside?') and NO, that's not correct... sorry smartness... why i have a cel...
please, dear and loyal readers, be sure to buy a bail bond, won't you?
posted by tom at 2:15 AM
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