poisoned pizza and matrimony

getting ready for work this morning, as i go over to the frozen pizza box (don't judge me) that i trekked far and wide to get last night, barefoot, up the hill, for ten miles to the gnasty gristede's on west fourth street, i realize that the safety perforation package 'don't eat if this is torn' thing is torn. now, i got eight-and-a-half lovely hours of sleep last night, and after a gratifying evening of doing laundry and bonding with my new best friend suzy at the laundromat ('arbitino's is much better than joe's pizza!' 'the hell it is. if you like canned mushrooms and stale cheese, i suppose.' 'they don't have canned mushrooms!' 'oh, maybe they use rubber instead.' 'they're my friends. if you want me to help you fold, take it back.' 'i can fold myself, thank you very much.' 'oh so THAT'S how you fold towels. i. see.' 'well you eat stale pizza.' 'you don't pair your socks?' 'good god no. far too much effort. they're all black, i just pick two in the morning.' 'so you eat cheap pizza and wear mismatched socks.' etc., etc., etc.) and dusting and sweeping my flophouse a la donna reed (sans pearls and evening finery), i awoke to just such a pleasant state today. the dilemma about whether to eat the pizza that may have been tampered with was a little too beyond me.

so, if i die today, you'll know what did me in. which would be a shame, for i'm heading up to the nuptial of the most charming couple in upstate new york. love the two of them: such a good fit. and as my hilton garden inn reservations aren't cancelable without paying for the nights, it would make being food poisoned that much more unpleasant. to get to the wedding, one has to drive right through the heart of middle america, if middle america were in upstate new york: not just walmart, SUPER walmart. not just an outlet center, THE BIGGEST outlet center around. and so on, and so on. typical america at that: not just the haves, but the haves more than ANYONE ANYWHERE. i should be ready for a therapy session after the four hour drive to and fro, but the little destination town is all shades of charming, and having all of us in the same hotel should be like college all over again. stay tuned for my insanity ramblings as the weekend progresses, kids.