my happy campaign: part two
and aNOTHER thing:
4. new york sports. they seem to have a happy campaign of their own. yes yes, i'm not being naive, i'm sure they are hoping their kindness to their members will result in me trying to recruit a coworker or two, or prevent me from moving to crunch or new york health and racquet, bla bla bla, but they put on a good show. in the last few months, i walk in, usually after a brain-numbing morning at the cubefarm, to a whole staff (reception, random trainers, sales people, and some straggling members of the cleaning team, too) screaming my name and clapping: kind of like the greeting they gave norm on cheers. 'hey! tom! alright, you're here! you made it! happy tuesday! go get em, tiger, go go GO! doing the park today? gonna pump some iron- grr! good to see you, we all missed you yesterday, didn't we?' 'oh yeah, we sure did. we all said, hey were is tom!' 'hey and tom, ENJOY YOUR WORKOUT!! [clap clap clap.]'
i'm not kidding. it's bizarre, but ALWAYS brings a smile to my face. after calling all the ladies peanut and princess and lovie, i think it's clear they're not going to get a date out of me, so it's got to be a new nysc happy campaign. and the guys are no better. 'you're getting bigger... you look great! look at you!' or 'you're back from the park early, did you not do the whole loop? running to a meeting, you high powered corporate executive you!' '[omg, you have NO idea how off you are...] no, whole loop and then some, per usual.' 'wow, you must be getting faster, speedy! good job, big guy! [slap on back.]' i know they're not family, but i think i love them.
5. the f train. yes, the myriad of smells in the morning, people handing out a. m. new york AND metro at the same subway entrance, and dollar battery guy can all be a bit much. ('good morning ladies and gentlemen. i am an honest, hardworking business man selling duracell batteries. two for one dollar. two packets for one dollar. honest. businessman. hardworking. batteries.' repeating keywords as if you were to do a keyword search online. and while i'm on the subject, how honest is a guy selling stolen batteries? but i digress.) but then there is the usual cast of characters who are lovely to see: the lady with whom i went to high school who gets on at 34th street, with whom i've been exchanging glances for, oh, about two years now, but with whom i never speak. (i believe she was a cool kid in high school. i wasn't. and that she gets on at 34th leads me to believe that she's probably still a cool kid in the same room at her parents' house.) there is the hotttt guy with the bad wardrobe who gets on at 14th street. there is the middle-aged (i'm being kind) woman with the scruffy hair who really likes perfume and gets on at the same station, and off at the same station, as do i. i love her for one simple reason: that she reads smutty drug store paperbacks every morning and, it would seem, gets hot on the f train before work, judging by the look on her face. i love this city.
4. new york sports. they seem to have a happy campaign of their own. yes yes, i'm not being naive, i'm sure they are hoping their kindness to their members will result in me trying to recruit a coworker or two, or prevent me from moving to crunch or new york health and racquet, bla bla bla, but they put on a good show. in the last few months, i walk in, usually after a brain-numbing morning at the cubefarm, to a whole staff (reception, random trainers, sales people, and some straggling members of the cleaning team, too) screaming my name and clapping: kind of like the greeting they gave norm on cheers. 'hey! tom! alright, you're here! you made it! happy tuesday! go get em, tiger, go go GO! doing the park today? gonna pump some iron- grr! good to see you, we all missed you yesterday, didn't we?' 'oh yeah, we sure did. we all said, hey were is tom!' 'hey and tom, ENJOY YOUR WORKOUT!! [clap clap clap.]'
i'm not kidding. it's bizarre, but ALWAYS brings a smile to my face. after calling all the ladies peanut and princess and lovie, i think it's clear they're not going to get a date out of me, so it's got to be a new nysc happy campaign. and the guys are no better. 'you're getting bigger... you look great! look at you!' or 'you're back from the park early, did you not do the whole loop? running to a meeting, you high powered corporate executive you!' '[omg, you have NO idea how off you are...] no, whole loop and then some, per usual.' 'wow, you must be getting faster, speedy! good job, big guy! [slap on back.]' i know they're not family, but i think i love them.
5. the f train. yes, the myriad of smells in the morning, people handing out a. m. new york AND metro at the same subway entrance, and dollar battery guy can all be a bit much. ('good morning ladies and gentlemen. i am an honest, hardworking business man selling duracell batteries. two for one dollar. two packets for one dollar. honest. businessman. hardworking. batteries.' repeating keywords as if you were to do a keyword search online. and while i'm on the subject, how honest is a guy selling stolen batteries? but i digress.) but then there is the usual cast of characters who are lovely to see: the lady with whom i went to high school who gets on at 34th street, with whom i've been exchanging glances for, oh, about two years now, but with whom i never speak. (i believe she was a cool kid in high school. i wasn't. and that she gets on at 34th leads me to believe that she's probably still a cool kid in the same room at her parents' house.) there is the hotttt guy with the bad wardrobe who gets on at 14th street. there is the middle-aged (i'm being kind) woman with the scruffy hair who really likes perfume and gets on at the same station, and off at the same station, as do i. i love her for one simple reason: that she reads smutty drug store paperbacks every morning and, it would seem, gets hot on the f train before work, judging by the look on her face. i love this city.
posted by tom at 11:30 AM
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