oh for the love of...
i HATE doing laundry. you all know this. but i've got an octoberfest tomorrow (i know, it's supposed to be in september, bla bla bla), and need a cute outfit, and everything is dirty. so i left mancat to his own devices for a wine tasting with his friend, and i'm sucking down a glass of burgundy as a consolation prize for having to do laundry on a friday before i head out. i walk in, have enough quarters and singles for the wash, but only a twenty for the dry. i'll deal with that in 25 minutes, so i think...
'hiyeee, jon!'
'hi, suzy! [i have no idea what her name is. if i can be jon, she can be suzy. and she didn't even flinch.] can i get change?'
'oh no! we're closing soon. all i have is tens.'
'but i don't need ten dollars in quarters. only one dollar. that's it.'
'but all i have is tens. for next time!'
do you people know how much nine dollars in quarters weighs?
and while i'm on the subject, for my new york viewers, you can appreciate the difference in cvs and duane reade. they sell similar, and often overlapping things, but not. the. same. selection.
cvs: (and is that matt lauer in their ads and websites? wtf?)
aussie hair insurance. (a MUST HAVE for any wavy haired guy who needs to tame it a bit.)
that cool kind of oral b toothbrush with the rubber gum massage thingies.
orange and apple juice.
sale vitamins at buy-one-get-one. (with your extracare card, of course.)
generic, and wonderful (shh! it's a secret! don't tell the masses) toilet paper.
and most importantly (today), generic bleach. (kids, you all took chemistry. bleach is a simple chemical synthesis reaction. clorox is nothing but a name and fragrance.)
duane reade:
baked lays.
adidas deodorant. (more about this later.)
dial with vitamins or aloe.
aussie shampoo. (skip a step is the only way to go).
salon selectives' hair putty. (damn you suave for men for being discontinued.)
got out of the subway, realized i need both hair insurance and bleach, and guess what? out. of. both. i almost, just almost, had an episode. this after only just moving on from when cvs lost my roll of film from slovenia (like i'll be back THERE anytime soon) last winter that i needed for my portfolio. (i had to write the president and carbon copy the vice presidents - excellent customer service when you hit that level, by the way - to get someone to look into it.) but this is different: this is like them laughing at me, 'hahaha you'll have bad hair and your whites won't be all that white, hahaha, should have planned better, bleach boy!' i swear i even saw a cashier give 'the look'... those of you who have ever worked retail know 'the look,' that, 'yeah, i'm on to you. and even though our mission statement says otherwise, secretly i'm loving that you're not a happy customer. sucker.'
all over laundry day. and p.s., corporate websites with 'about us' or 'our company' links are LOVELY for finding out the top brass of a corporation. just ask me. i'm REALLY good at those letters...
'hiyeee, jon!'
'hi, suzy! [i have no idea what her name is. if i can be jon, she can be suzy. and she didn't even flinch.] can i get change?'
'oh no! we're closing soon. all i have is tens.'
'but i don't need ten dollars in quarters. only one dollar. that's it.'
'but all i have is tens. for next time!'
do you people know how much nine dollars in quarters weighs?
and while i'm on the subject, for my new york viewers, you can appreciate the difference in cvs and duane reade. they sell similar, and often overlapping things, but not. the. same. selection.
cvs: (and is that matt lauer in their ads and websites? wtf?)
aussie hair insurance. (a MUST HAVE for any wavy haired guy who needs to tame it a bit.)
that cool kind of oral b toothbrush with the rubber gum massage thingies.
orange and apple juice.
sale vitamins at buy-one-get-one. (with your extracare card, of course.)
generic, and wonderful (shh! it's a secret! don't tell the masses) toilet paper.
and most importantly (today), generic bleach. (kids, you all took chemistry. bleach is a simple chemical synthesis reaction. clorox is nothing but a name and fragrance.)
duane reade:
baked lays.
adidas deodorant. (more about this later.)
dial with vitamins or aloe.
aussie shampoo. (skip a step is the only way to go).
salon selectives' hair putty. (damn you suave for men for being discontinued.)
got out of the subway, realized i need both hair insurance and bleach, and guess what? out. of. both. i almost, just almost, had an episode. this after only just moving on from when cvs lost my roll of film from slovenia (like i'll be back THERE anytime soon) last winter that i needed for my portfolio. (i had to write the president and carbon copy the vice presidents - excellent customer service when you hit that level, by the way - to get someone to look into it.) but this is different: this is like them laughing at me, 'hahaha you'll have bad hair and your whites won't be all that white, hahaha, should have planned better, bleach boy!' i swear i even saw a cashier give 'the look'... those of you who have ever worked retail know 'the look,' that, 'yeah, i'm on to you. and even though our mission statement says otherwise, secretly i'm loving that you're not a happy customer. sucker.'
all over laundry day. and p.s., corporate websites with 'about us' or 'our company' links are LOVELY for finding out the top brass of a corporation. just ask me. i'm REALLY good at those letters...
posted by tom at 11:15 PM
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