it's not an alien... i'm kinda pissed about that

i was going to name him tod. the tod bump project of 2005. i mean, it's a bump on my naval, life is bred from the naval, and more specifically ALIEN life i was hoping. but NO. my dumbass doctor (who actually took me on time today... first time in three years) bursted my bubble when he told me that it's a delightful little 'umbilical hernia.' i mean, yes, i'm absolutely thrilled to tears that i get a few doctor sanctioned days away from the cubefarm to be medicated and attended to, that's not in a sanitarium, i mean i couldn't be happier. though it would have been nice to have this circa the fourth o' july, but i'll take labor day. but i really was kind of hoping for an alien.

it doesn't mean the tod bump project of 2005 cannot be fun. i told b. p. about my findings, being all macho, 'it's from weightlifting.' i mean how butch does THAT sound? such a good battle scar, my little gay wuss equivalent of 'got it in 'nam.' but no, he has to dilute it... 'honey, don't sound so badass. you probably got it taking a rough dump. have some more fiber and get over yourself.'

grr.

you'll be kept in the loop, dear readers. surgeon visit tomorrow morning; doctorb wasn't playing today (well he's always making dad-type jokes)... 'you need to see a surgeon immediately. asap today or tomorrow at the absolute, absolute latest.' 'can i lift at lunch?' 'that's not funny, jon.' 'my name isn't jon.' 'and don't 'forget' the copay this time, sport. i'm pretty sure it went up 5 bucks.'