"baby it's cold outside"

former coworker: 'you're out of your fucking mind.'
'clearly. you say it like it's an epiphany.'
'with whom are you going?'
'no one. i don't think i could talk anyone into this if i tried, and i didn't want to try. i'd probably wind up someplace watered down like london or something.'
'it's all in the name. ICEland.'
'it's just as warm there as it is here. and exbfdcba said there are little monkeys who hang out in the spas there. me and the spa monkeys chilling.'
'that's tourism bullshit propaganda. and it's not warm here.'
'well, i'm only going there because south africa, well, iberia caught THAT glitch. bastards. it's totally untouchable this time of year unless i want to pay. so, backpacking across iceland in the dead of winter it is. and think of the christmas card i'll be able to send this year. me with spa monkeys or penguins or santa claus incarnate on the coast. can you only imagine?'
'so for that you go to the fucking north pole. to SEE santa claus and sit in a jacuzzi with rabid animals. you're disturbed.'
'yeah. kind of cool, huh.'
'when do you leave?'
'not quite three weeks.'
'where are you staying?'
'eh, i'll work that out eventually.'

i'm pretty sure i'll bring george my laptop, so perhaps a realtime picture or two and an online account of my travels... more about this as it unfolds...

someone actually told me he didn't believe the insanity here is true.

here, i've got a rag in my pocket, let me help you with that egg--

oh big brother, you're so silly

and the latest email edict from big brother (aka 'INTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS') was to the effect of, 'our energy expenses are both obscene and bankrupting us. turn off your computer, printer, scanner, and overhead lights whenever possible and, especially, at the end of the day.' now, see, i already turn off my monitor every day. why? because you give a photographer photoshop and a job with no stimulation and suddenly jpegs add up. and add up. and suddenly, 'you've exceeded your storage space on the network and will not be allowed to shut down until you delete some files.' ha. as if. so, fine, i won't log off: i'll just shut off my monitor, jokes on you, bwahahaha.

the first night after we received such communication from big brother, the big brother secret police stealth crew went around and put big, bright yellow, pre-printed stickies on every piece of machinery that wasn't off. it was kind of like mad libs when we were kids: the framework is already there, and you check off the box with the funniest answer or fill in the blank.

'occupant,

you failed to comply with the [big brother] new energy conservation policy for the following reason(s):

___ printer

___ monitor

___ lights

___ other: _____________

i am not sure if there is a series of demerits, or if someone is keeping track, but it's getting scary, no? i wish i had something that would piss off the secret police and would embarrass them out of ratting on me. suggestions, please? maybe a big fish-tank with a filter and light? ___ other: FISH-TANK. 'but big brother, you wouldn't want bubbles, my goldfish, and slimy, my snail, to die in a dark, polluted tank, would you?'

and to say it again, i'm not ignoring you, my friends: planet-save's email is still very much down. but i'm looking forward to the myriad of email (ahem) that have added up. the best things come on those who wait.