all's well that ends, um, well...
so i got a call from mum about six weeks ago that she and her friend camilla were going to london for a long weekend. 'to see a couple of shows and go shopping.' 'catch the irony: mum and camilla are going to london?' don't be fresh. anyway, i'll book the dogs at the kennel. this will be so much fun!' 'darling, i'll watch the kids, it will be fun.' 'no no, you'll probably forget to turn off the electric blanket and the whole house will go up.' 'it turns itself off after awhile and may i take this time to remind you i DO hold a full-time job and apartment down, dear.' 'you're being fresh again.' and on and on until i wore her down. the cubefarm has been particularly grating lately ('no, it's not a problem, it's your fucking job'), so i thought it best to take a couple of mental health days and keep my promise to spend as much time with the aging sheepdogs as possible. that and enjoy a dishwasher, washer/dryer, and car. (i sound like i live in a third world country...)
got to marge's and, per usual, the place is sanitized free of fat, carbs, sugar, cholesterol, and food with taste. (while a nice gesture, spaghetti-o's with calcium just don't taste right.) ironic touch: marge is rail thin. despite all, i ate like a pig (on non-caloric foods) and slept and drove to balmy, exotic places like two different targets, a mall, and applebee's. (i renewed my long island citizenship at the mall and only hit applebee's because the diner had a 45 minute wait.) most importantly, i got a gillion pictures with the doggies and hit the beaches today. life is good.
even got on a long island railroad that, while a local, was empty and quiet. played with my new photos and was in my happy place and when i hit penn, was in happycampermode. got to the c/e trains and my bent metrocard (drats!) actually expired (yay!) so i had to buy a new one (non-bent!). and just as the machine was processing my card, this annoying little anti-fraud step that was introduced to credit card transactions lately that prompted my zip code appeared. it wouldn't understand my zip. i hear a train. enter it again. prompts for a third time. train stops. enter it AGAIN. registers. no i do NOT want a fucking receipt, give me my card. run with 75-pound bag o' clean laundry, scan non-kinked card, run toward train, and subway guy sees me running with a huge bag on my back and proceeds to close the doors. i give him the finger and the words to accompany, and tells me, in return, that i'm number one as and laughs. overpaid bastards. rarr...
got to marge's and, per usual, the place is sanitized free of fat, carbs, sugar, cholesterol, and food with taste. (while a nice gesture, spaghetti-o's with calcium just don't taste right.) ironic touch: marge is rail thin. despite all, i ate like a pig (on non-caloric foods) and slept and drove to balmy, exotic places like two different targets, a mall, and applebee's. (i renewed my long island citizenship at the mall and only hit applebee's because the diner had a 45 minute wait.) most importantly, i got a gillion pictures with the doggies and hit the beaches today. life is good.
even got on a long island railroad that, while a local, was empty and quiet. played with my new photos and was in my happy place and when i hit penn, was in happycampermode. got to the c/e trains and my bent metrocard (drats!) actually expired (yay!) so i had to buy a new one (non-bent!). and just as the machine was processing my card, this annoying little anti-fraud step that was introduced to credit card transactions lately that prompted my zip code appeared. it wouldn't understand my zip. i hear a train. enter it again. prompts for a third time. train stops. enter it AGAIN. registers. no i do NOT want a fucking receipt, give me my card. run with 75-pound bag o' clean laundry, scan non-kinked card, run toward train, and subway guy sees me running with a huge bag on my back and proceeds to close the doors. i give him the finger and the words to accompany, and tells me, in return, that i'm number one as and laughs. overpaid bastards. rarr...
posted by tom at 9:45 PM
