omg, the world must be coming to an end.

so, the landlord sent this guy, very, very nice and almost apologetic, to see my SHOEBOX of an apartment to determine whether the OBSCENE amount of money he wants to raise my rent is worthy. (FUCK YOU MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN FOR DRIVING UP THE PRICES IN MY HOOD. GO. BACK. TO. CALI. WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE.) the jury is still out.

as fate would have it, friend of friend is renting a HUGEEEEEE one bedroom, a real one bedroom, not this two room studio i absolutely adore, don't get me wrong, but miss snippy landlordsofficesnip seems to think a 'one bedroom in the west village goes for easily double what i pay.' (but then a one bedroom in the village has heat and hot water consistently, a door, and a space so that if you extended your arms, you wouldn't touch either wall, but i digress.) so this one bedroom, much cheaper than what i'm paying now, the landlord is a sweetheart, the area is lovely, but one thing. it's in queens.

QUEENS.

i'd have to rename the blog. i honestly don't know what to do, to be honest. see more places to start, but huzzah, this wouldn't be a bad ending.

of course, first and foremost, i love this little place with all my heart and soul. it would kill me to leave, but today's lesson, boys and girls, is that, as marge always says, 'sometimes god doesn't shut a door without opening a window.' a window in queens, perhaps. to be continued.

kaboom and, what, rename the blog?

aah, so the sweet neighbor upstairs, hottiegirl, rings my bell today. 'hey, did you hear about the gas leak?' 'no!' long story short, there was a gas leak: the valve that connects the main to her apartment broke and filled the building, hence the smell all. winter. long. greattttt. it's fixed, but one poorly timed cigarette and we coulda gone *kaboom* reaaaaaaaaaaaally easily. wonderful. love it. and 'useless,' my 'super,' denied a leak from the beginning, wtf.

so i get my lease renewal and thinking it will be 7% of my base, i think how bad could it be... well, my dears, big daddy moved into 10014 six years ago, with something called a 'rider' on my lease. a rider is a little clause on a lease saying, 'the apartment is worth a gillion [inflated or not] but we're renting it at [about 50 bucks.]' governor pataki, that mother fucking piece of shit from albany (god that felt good), decided in 2003 that such clauses, 'preferential rents,' were at the whim of landlords, and, thus, not legal documents anymore. the legislature approved it, and it was upheld in the appellate division. so. my rider is moot, and the mother fucking piece of shit new landlord (building sold last fall) jacked me up to market. i call him, i call my realtor, i call the city of new york's housing board, etc. turns out the only recourse of action i have is to write a letter and plead my cause. so i do. tomorrow, at about 730, his minion will come over to assess the place. i'm hoping once he sees how small and re-donk-u-lous my space is, that they'll reconsider, but otherwise, i'm sooooo shit. out. of. luck.

to be continued, my public....