lowwwwbrow

ok, so you all know i'm burned out in my dead-end corporate prole beige cubefarm job. this is news to no one. one day, in an email banter i'm wont to do during the day, my friend who is an elementary school textbook editor, my friend who is an editor at one of the bigger magazines, and i were engaged in a three-way (ahem) and the conversation went something like this:

me: 'oh please. i was banned from the men's room for over two years. and i can't access my home email from work. this place is one big BANNED redcirclewithaslash.'

editor1: 'oh, you think you have restrictions, try writing textbooks for children. i've got a list of forbiddens that would make even castro blush.'

editor2: 'i hope you have fun with that.'

1: oh we do.

and then posts like this started:

'cara is the executive chef at le skank, an uppity french restaurant. tom is a sous chef, and tosses all the salads. michele is waiting on a banquet of fifty people, 1/3 of whom want a salad, and the other 2/3 want some of chef cara's special rabbit pie. for how many people does tom toss salads? and how many people have cara's hare pie?'

'tom, michele and cara run a hair salon. tom washes the hair and michele and cara take turns blowing it dry. the USS Mancake is in town, and all 5000 guys want their hair done. Each sailor weighs 180 lbs. If tom gets them wet and michele and cara blow them, how many pounds of seamen can they go through in 3 hours?'

really. i'm not right, and neither are my friends. so, accordingly, we've created the shiny new blog, that is not live: mathproblems4adults... stay tuned, kids. you're in for a (lowbrow) bumpy ride.

oh my darlings, oh my darlings, oh my DARLINGS

clementine...

where the hell have i been? up to no good, my dears. in the last few weeks, i've successfully:

* started a mutiny against styrofoam, at work, at the cafeteria and floor pantries. ['those are good points. i'll get back to you.']
* called a v. p. on not keeping her word. ['this is a precedent we've not made for other people before and don't feel comfortable making now.']
* pondered opening a metlifebank.com savings account. just because shittybank is so... egregious... and glad it only takes $50 to do so.
* gotten all norma rae on 'the man' (and by 'man' i mean bigboss'man' of our department) about the trainwreck our 'employee satisfaction' surveys were. ['yes, tom, i think an anonymous suggestion box would be a wonderful idea.'] me. too.

a few weeks of catharsis, if you will. so sorry about that, but i'm back. shrink fired, working on getting myself fired, too, and the (only) great thing about forest fires is that new life springs from the ashes...

---

shout out to the igloodweller, in a period of transition, herself: the end of a life is the most awful thing one can endure, but the start of a life is one of the most beautiful. you, and your family, are most in my thoughts as of late.